I wake with sheets tethered and lashed around my body from last nights shipwreck of a sleep.
Tossing and turning, I must have capsized, going down for the count around 2:30 am, after Skype froze my Fiance’s face in suspended animation. That happens after a 3 hour “Skype date”, and yet, i never get used to it. Need to invest in a cooling fan for my Netbook, but the damage is done: the lifeline we held was temporarily cut.
We have been on this kind of schedule since I met her over 2 years ago. Living in a Modern LDR (long distance relationship) presents all sorts of challenges in connection. But for the creative and ADD mind, we thrive on Challenge! (or drive ourselves mad with it!) We dine on snippets of time, delivered in byte-size pieces; between school schedules, work schedules, and nightly stories.
It is only after all “Good Night Kisses” (butterfly and heart kisses) and last glass of water has been properly disseminated to my Six year old, after the sun has given up and gone to bed, and the nightly dishes lay pouting in the sink, slick with the remnants of a rushed dinnertime, after the teenager has settled into his nocturnal fetal position, plugged into his carbon-based, lap-top umbilical cord, I await the moments when I can look upon the face of my True Love, over the ocean blue, via an 8 x 10″ screen.
These are the most precious moments of connection to her in the day! When the weight of the world can be temporarily sloughed off of our shoulders, all my misgivings about my parental “fuck-ups” of the day can be slid to the pile next to the bed, and we can transcend timezones and nautical miles to just Be. She is my lifeline, my anchor, my beacon of hope when i can’t seem to see daylight in the chaos of my head.
I should feel so fortunate. Many pining lovers had to wait for letters from carrier pigeon, or wayward messenger traveling for months. My luck, I would have had a messenger who had just won money in a game of Mah Jong and was diverted to a house of ill repute for innumerable days, leaving my note on the hookers nightstand, with a sorrowful apology and an “don’t call me, I’ll call you.” shabbily scrawled on the backside as he made his hasty retreat.
Before you get delusions of grandeur and visions of a lonely, stoic woman, canonized for her ability to suffer greatly (as though that’s something to aspire to?) I feel the need to refer the dear reader of this drudgery to the title of my blog: The Adventures of ADD Girl. ADD means impatient, and impulsive, and thoughts of lashing together two unsuspecting sea turtles with a mast of Spongebob Squarepants bedsheets continually fill my nightly visions. I just need to find a rudder for those turtles!
We are one of those families that was brought together by technology, and have clung to that web as our life-line awaiting the day when we can go to bed under one roof. If it weren’t for the modern technology of today: Skype, SMS, Facebook, Internet Dating sites, and email, would many couples of today have met? I trust the Universe that we would. LDR’s need lots of TLC to stay afloat and I will be covering some Survival Skills needed (In between S.O.S. signals for sanity) to help keep those lines of communication strong! Upcoming posts will be chronicling : LDR’s , Incorporating Family into the LDR, and other Madcap adventures! Stay Tuned!
If you are interested in reading more about DADT and it’s crippling effect upon couples, please see my 4 part series at the Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the Central Coast . (March/April 2011; “Invisible Partners: Coming Out of the Shadows of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”)